Mixed Up Monday

Mondays have always been a trying day for me everyone. Dont you think we all should just face head on in Super opposite mentality to fight off this psychologically draining day? Somewhere during the day this short flash of my new year resolution-( TO RELAX, NOT THINK, WORRY LESS) came flickering like a animated click me banner on a website.

Since i've been terribly swamped with thoughts on how to solve the work issues and overly stressed with womanly problem, i havent been following up with My GOD. I feel awful. =( When Fiona shared her session with GOD while reading the daily bread, I remembered My patient giving me a set of the daily bread somewhere in my room. So i rummaged through and found it. Read it in the morning just like Mushi says. I funny thing is that i do feel better after reading God's word and i feel more reassured. Even though i may not know what is planned out for me yet maybe not until the day is over. It still does bring me alot of comfort.

Besides work stressing me, also other random thoughts also. Hmm.. I must be Post PMS-ing. Cause Sam also triggered a nerve today. I just decided to shove it away, cos it was a Monday. (This rhymes.. how cool is that!) Anyways... I may be over stressing or fussy over nothing i guess. I feel like i'm complaining that there is too much air kinda feeling. Anyways i refuse to fall trap to my Grumpiness and to prove my innate glass-is-half-full attitude, I decided to not show my stressed like a prune face at work as much as i could, talk slowly not like a machine gun on a rampage, tried very hard to go home early so i can have more energy for the next days to come.

Orkut Scraps - Monday Scraps

Quarter life crisis :Scene 1 (Act 2) @ The Airport

So we did a threesome again @ the airport. Nothing short of sharing deep deep... THOUGHTS! of our current plans for the future. Once again an intense session leading to a major hangover of yawns and pangs of headaches. As this lingering feeling of having your head squeezed into a can continued we mentioned about here and there day-to-day events, ephipanies, work,everything else that is still stressing us since our last conversation, 26th year trip, difference between men and women, evaluation of our current well being. Considering that we didnt have a solid agenda written, the above was rather meaty topics.

As we camped at Terminal 3's Kopitiam, mid way after an hour or two.. i realised we were significantly scaring our neighbouring hungry people off. I spotted a raised eye brow and a few head tilts and adjust hair behind ear actions to tune into our conversation. So we talked without restrictions.. inhibited..

As we each blabbered about our day-to-days and each of us concerned about each other's life path.. I think we went into a world of our own, a place somewhere only we know.(WOW~ I cant believe i linked Keane 's song-Somewhere only we know. *Chuckles)

I cant help but applaud our MORE than 10 years friendship and put it on a pretty high pedestal. And yes, i'm sure we are more than doctors for the soul-forever on call, we are more than Charlie's Angels-fighting a ever long battle of good vs evil, we're lifelong friends- The Bao-Ga-Liao kind.

Big Hugs! The Other Angel and the Whiny One!

Random Thought #2

Looking back, I have been talking to God quite a bit throughout the years. (Based on previous blog entries) Amazing isnt it. I'm So glad i was able to see HIS flashing bright lights to guide me to HIM. GOD's amazing!!

I'm Basking in his Glory! Feels so good like Sun tanning!

Afterglow Sunday

Picture Taken from:http://graceevan.org

Sunday's after church activity was a sharing session after the mission trip in 6th-7th March. I wanted to share more when it was my turn but i didnt want to bore everyone with details. Thus resulting in this exclusive verbal vomit for my not so frequent readers.

Other than my the new experience of praying for Poopie(my little Bahasa girl). I felt God using me in many areas. When we were singing the worship songs in Bahasa Indonesian, I never felt shy to open my voice there. Normally, i hate taking center stage or performances, if i have to i'd probably hid one corner that type. But during that moment. I felt it. God's warmth giving me courage.

When we were in church, hearing the voices of the other villages sing along with us and sometimes louder than us. I felt so glad. I could see God in their place too. It was then i experienced God is everywhere. I was so touched. Like what the rest mentioned. You can really understand and see the true meaning of the worship when languages are a barrier.

Also when cejie preached I could feel his words slowly creeping into my heart. And then.. came the waterfall. Cried buckets really. Cause i thought of Poh Meng uncle's similar incident. Thank GOD for his grace on cejie. I remember he mentioned that it was through his prayers and other testimonials that gives him more faith. During his sharing today also i felt his honesty and truthfulness with totally made everyone(i'm sure) feel more relatable and paved the platform for the rest to share their honest thoughts. I thought that was fab.

Also when we were in the hotel where roomie(beverly) had her meetings. I could see how much planning and thought was put into the trip. And i linked it back to the whole morning's happenings with all the youths so fabulously cooperative and taking such leadership roles to that very moment. I also wanted to give them a Big hug! I could really See and feel the love ppl! Felt like a one united people moment.

I really enjoyed the trip and have come back so much stronger in my faith. I can really see the transformations through this journey. Super Duper loved my Buddies! Their just so much fun.. Teasing each other My policeman -weikang and Nurse-Rongguang. Both gave me alot of reassurance in their own way. Did i not mention how our van -mates and driver rocks! They make me so at ease and the sense of belonging. =)

I was assisting Xinyi (Our On-the-Job-Nurse!) to disinfect and apply aneseptic for one kid. I was near tearing when i saw his whole body with that many rashes. It was then the reality of poverty was instilled. Even though i know xinyi was nervous too and kinda lost. I'm glad i was able to remind her about certain things. =) Thank goodness looking after our first aid kit and emergency kits in our clinic paid off. I really hope to be in first aid the next time i go down there. A big part of me wants to organise a team to go for operation smiles. But i dont know if i am brave enough to go ahead as planned. *Silent Prayer~

I enjoyed the trip and also felt little victories along the way. I cant wait for more!

Update of Faith Growing Experience

A whirl wind of things happened the last 2 months of 2010. I felt the Ever Loving God and the Wrath of God (just a tinge) in my everyday life. Experienced his faithfulness and bathed in his glory! Took many leaps of faiths and landed in HIS safe arms. I feel the courage and that feeling again growing within me to trust HIM to guide me as each day passes. As i Pray and Googled about how to pray, I learnt to talk to him and how to honour him. I felt HIM using me to spread the gospel.(Something which i didnt expect would happen that fast, but i'm glad it did.) The mission trip was also fabulous. I saw HIS work through so many people during that journey.

Even though:

Relying and trusting is just so hard for me.

Thinking vs Feeling is obviously not a fair fight.

I 'll stay determined, and focus(cross fingers)

In the past i was Un-consciously Believing that i was just.. Lucky. =)

I'm glad now I am Consciously Aware- That it was all his plan.

Hey God Almighty!~

Sunday 17 Jan 2010.

I accepted Christ in my life. I was so excited. Still excited! He is really amazing! Just like how he drew a map for me to lead me to him. I'm so glad i found him =)

I decided to revive my blog to blog more about my new journey and all the amazing things i am learning now. I figured it would give me a bit more motivation during my rough patches and hopefully to any other christian who happens to stumble to my page.

Stay Tuned!

Grey hues turning to yellow tones?

Finally got my fingers working on this and decided to do a CPR on my blog with faint pulse.

Signed up for Unisim today- BA Psychology with Business. Kudoos to that combo.

The Docs are heading into treating patient in chronic pain with medical and emotional issues. I figured i'd beat them to it and pick up a few skills to cope with that. I'm glad i'm settling nicely into twists of things and finally setting my foot down on the choice of what to study. Plus! I still get to do the marketing and advert part that i like(minus the boring accounting and econs bit).

Lately things have been a little(just a tinge) messy at home. BUT, i oddly feel really thankful though. The phrase, " What does not break you, will only make you stronger". Has a much deeper-roots-grown-in meaning now. Then again, " What does not break us, will only make us stronger"

I hate that i over think things sometimes. Not letting things flow unplanned, not allowing the people i love to make all the mistakes and wrong turns, always thinking i can help everyone and mistaking that everyone needs my help. This led to way to many sighs, worrying about being over worried about everyone's worries, alot of unnecessary emotional baggage, and not alot of time for myself. I've always said i want to do things for me. I feel awful that i keep procrastinating myself. I'm glad i'm taking baby steps to letting things FLOW and allowing certain people to GROW UP, without me medling too much into it.

On another note. I've seriously thought of joining the operation smiles group and teaching in nepal. Always thought that people who did this have gone bonkers. But... Yeah.. I think i'm heading into bonkerland.

The constant search for meaning in life. I think we should change that to constant search of things we feel good about and how we influence others positively yeah?