Grey hues turning to yellow tones?

Finally got my fingers working on this and decided to do a CPR on my blog with faint pulse.

Signed up for Unisim today- BA Psychology with Business. Kudoos to that combo.

The Docs are heading into treating patient in chronic pain with medical and emotional issues. I figured i'd beat them to it and pick up a few skills to cope with that. I'm glad i'm settling nicely into twists of things and finally setting my foot down on the choice of what to study. Plus! I still get to do the marketing and advert part that i like(minus the boring accounting and econs bit).

Lately things have been a little(just a tinge) messy at home. BUT, i oddly feel really thankful though. The phrase, " What does not break you, will only make you stronger". Has a much deeper-roots-grown-in meaning now. Then again, " What does not break us, will only make us stronger"

I hate that i over think things sometimes. Not letting things flow unplanned, not allowing the people i love to make all the mistakes and wrong turns, always thinking i can help everyone and mistaking that everyone needs my help. This led to way to many sighs, worrying about being over worried about everyone's worries, alot of unnecessary emotional baggage, and not alot of time for myself. I've always said i want to do things for me. I feel awful that i keep procrastinating myself. I'm glad i'm taking baby steps to letting things FLOW and allowing certain people to GROW UP, without me medling too much into it.

On another note. I've seriously thought of joining the operation smiles group and teaching in nepal. Always thought that people who did this have gone bonkers. But... Yeah.. I think i'm heading into bonkerland.

The constant search for meaning in life. I think we should change that to constant search of things we feel good about and how we influence others positively yeah?

Its true, what they say.

“Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous”- Albert Einstein.

This is one of the little quotes from movie The leap years. I love this movie for its presentation concept, good plot about love, friendship, patience and mischievous fate. Corrine may's song is definately a cherry on top touch though. I feel like i can relate to her every song. Like it 's God's way of communication with me. The words that i couldn't express to him but so badly want to. Her songs are like the reassuring voices of God's. I feel like her song's give me strength. It explains and gives me the answers of hope. Her reassuring tone and lyrics triggers so many red flags in my heart. I really hopes she keeps singing. =)

My fav. song now is The Birthday song.

I have been asking for calmness and a clear head on a daily basis. On occasion i ask for a peek on a few pages in my life. I feel like i have been asking for alot and not returning anything. I dont feel so much so guilt, but more like i want to show my gratitude. I gotta ask sam again how i can do this. But lately because of Dr yap's dad's passing. I've been praying for him and also slowly realising how natural it is for me to turn to you for guidance and reassurance and i'm even initiating for a prayer. Even though i still dont really feel as comfortable using the proper way to say a prayer. I think .. wait.. I know I feel closer and closer to you now GOD.

Thank you for your angel's in disguise.

the 2 ppl in my life

Taken From

A sudden rush of emotions overwhelmed me today. I remember bawling like today a few years back. The same kinda painful release of emotions. I'm not your regular kick up a fuss and cry out loud and whine kinda girl. I have that cry silently held back want-to-be-brave sorta tears. Thankfully only very few besides family have seen me at my worst.

With bee swollened eyes, saliva and mucus slobbering in a curled up position. I really thought they were the best then. Even when they never said any comforting words after the breakup. I'm so thankful they just laid in bed and comforted me while i cried myself to sleep. After making that heart breaking decison then, I couldnt cry for days and felt so clogged up. While crying i remember thanking GOD for them.

Somehow, when weisze tells me that she is very proud of my efforts and gives me encouragement in forms of little letters and messages, I feel really awesome. I feel comforted that sometimes when i call sam when i fall sick he offers to come with food and comfort.

Our airport trips and cook outs. Even when our group becomes bigger with gfs and bfs.. I think i'd still have that bit of selfishness to meet with just the two of them to have our "intense grown up thoughts". I think its come to a point that i dont think i can survive properly without these 2 people somewhere hovering in my life. I miss you guys!! I havent given u guys a decent hug in years! We gotta find an excuse meet soon, Just us!

Just Thought it time to revive this sleepy blog

With my dusty Mac and the nice weather i've decided to do some updates. Stuff been happening New people in my life, Unexpected epiphanies, Changes in Perspective, @ the work place "DANCES", Graduation, Secret VOdka Rendevous.

I'm very thankful for the new people that HE has added into my life. Like a good pot of stew i think we blend in very well. I'm bowled over yet again at how a sincere hug and gentle words can make me weak in the knees. Also, it never ceases to amaze me how sincerity can reach out to the coldest of persons. I will try to emulate that amazing sincere heart to the ones i care about.

I miss cooking. You know how they say if you cook with your heart food kinda taste better and all? I used to think that that was all BULL. Later i found that it had some truth in it. No wonder my food tastes .. different lately.

Dental Nurse school Graduation! Oh oh! and the After party! Sweet Sweet flowers!

Zaid's still sending me selective songs that have meaning to them. Today his song post is switchfoot's GONE. (plus some oddly random Gundam robot thing)

Looks like the Secret VOdka De-stressing Sessions have been an essential part of life.

These word from him" Just be yourself ... I believe in you"  was enough 

to get me blurry and in a puddle of tears. =)

I'm very grateful for u!

BSc(Hons) Visual Communication with Business

Yeap! This is it! UniSIM here i come!!

So excited about this!!!! Thank goodness for this dynamic course combination. Its like its calling out to me. Of course the branding and marketing aspect of the course appeals to me. WhoOOo.. and the visual communications and advertising part just simply like a very juicy cherry on a already yummy pure vanilla ice cream adds to all the euphoria. 

Even though after i graduate i'd be closer to my expiry date(sherms implies).

But Hmm. Crazy thought-thats the least on my mind! Who says getting married earlier equals a happily ever after!(Me: Spits back)

I just hope i dont drown in all this overwhelm-ment. I am glad i am taking new steps into the unknown!! Haha.. Now i have an excuse to pursue photography. =)

Check out NAFA's graduate projects -

Link up!

( Some really decent pieces)

Day and Night.. Cats and Dogs.. Love and Hate..

This song has a nice happy tune to it... Until you see the lyrics. 

I like how day and night the lyrics and tune are. The contrast kinda make it a pretty match. Hmm.. Kinda like most odd things in life huh!~

Note: Play it on my entertainment corner *look left*

Lene Marlin

I'm sitting down here

Sitting down here your words cut rather deeply,
Theyre just some other lies
Im hiding from a distance,
Ive got to pay the price
Defending all against it,
I really dont know why
Youre obsessed with all my secrets,
You always make me cry
You seem to wanna hurt me
No matter what I do
Im telling just a couple,
But somehow it gets to you
But Ive learned how to get revenge
And I swear youll experience that some day

Im sitting down here,
But hey you cant see me, kinda invisible
You dont sense my stay
Not really hiding, not like a shadow
Just thought I would join you for one day
Im sitting down here,
But hey you cant see me

Im trying not to avoid you,
Just dont wanna hear your voice
When you call me up so often,
I really dont have a choice
Youre talking lie you know me
And wanna be my friend
But thats really too late now,
I wont try it once again
You may think that Im loser,
That I dont really care
You may think that its all forgotten,
But you should be aware
Cause Ive learned to get revenge
And I swear youll experience that some day

Im sitting down here,
But hey you cant see me
Kinda invisible
You dont sense my stay
Not really hiding, not like a shadow
But sure I wanna join you one day

This song STINGS doesnt it! Definately written by a revengeful girl. Haha..

My Ah Ma!

My AH Ma is just oozing cuteness. Yesterday at her place we were talking about my uncle's wedding in October. The aunties were asking me to "Look out" for a little shawl or a nice sparkly cropped jacket for Ah Ma to match the very vintage beige sleeveless gown. 

Ah Ma is super excited about the wedding and what to wear and stuff but is trying to be super nonchalent and acting all its okay fuss free about things but she is fussing over what bag to match with the shoes she might wear and if the jewelry is enough. So adorable ~

So i got her to do a little fashion show for me to try out that very aged beige dress. I helped her get dress. its so cute cos i have limited hokkien vocabulary and she and i communicate by playing charades most of the time. She was getting tangled in the petticoat(inner layer of dress). I think i did the cutest thing. I raised both my hands up and told Ah Ma to do the same while i help her adjust the heavy gown. I chuckled at my suddenly memory of Ah ma changing my clothes for me when i was little. After much fussing,now here comes the double irony. Turns out... That she grown outta it! 

Ah ma reminds me so much of my mum. She has this very cute "HOO-HAAR" quality about her. When they discover something new or semi-shocking. They Do a HOO! and HAAR! sound effect. She was like "AiyOo ~~~Buai Sai Cheng"( AiyooO cannot wear ah) with loads of giggles, followed by loads of other sound effects like HOoo OOrh.. OO...OOhh.. and HAAR~

Then after the dress event we got into all the other details like jewelry la... makeup la... Shoes la... Hair la.. bag la.. and did the "HoOO.. HAAR" thing all over again.

So turns out my aunts are not gonna be able to take leave to come in the tea ceremony thing so they are giving me the task to look out for Ah ma and get her prepared for the wedding and all the other chinese traditional stuff (which i have not clue about)  like red eggs and what not. But really i am really excited to get ah ma all dolled up for it! I'll post a picture of her soon! Stay tuned in October for it!

AHHA......My AH MA is so cute lah! 

Sprucing up

The internet is a wonderful resource. I found out that nail polish turns out to be the perfect remover for cleaning mac white keyboards. The letters "M" , "A", "C" have never looked so white. Just like MR. MACdonals says it.. I'm Loving it~ 

Yes, i have been discovering about my mac everyday with my bosses at work who have been bitten by the mac-attack virus a long time ago. Now dont get me wrong. I still have a soft spot for windows. But MAC.. Oh MAC... has gotten me GOOD. 

Just because...

One day you just wake up and its all gone. Everything, Everyone. Gone.

I havent cried like this since. 

Sometimes it just takes a few word to like bullets to the heart. It just hits the right spots.

It rained terribly inside today. Its just too bad my fav bus driver was not there.

Talent time!

I want a TALENT!

A new morning...

Went to get supplementalised with Dr gan. She tested me sub-space with what i like to call her hocus pocus machine-The QX machine. Its amazing really. Better than any palmer reader. I dont know enough to thorougly believe it. But i am open to the idea of a possiblity.  Cool thing really .

This is what it tests for:

	Food Sensitivities
	Nutritional Deficiencies
	Spinal / Cranial Sacral
	Dental / TMJ
	Adrenal Function
	Environmental Factors
	Hormone Levels
	Mental Energy
	Organ Function
	Hydration / Oxygenation
	Acid / Alkaline Balance
	Toxicities – exposure to excess chemical, heavy metals, mercury

	Trauma (damage) – includes physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual
	Pathogens – bacteria, fungi, viruses, parasites

	Homeopathic Therapy
	Allergy Testing & Desensitization
	Meridian Therapy / Electro-Acupuncture
	Chakra Balancing
	Weight Loss Therapy
	Risk Profile Analysis
	Anti–Aging Therapy
	Emotional Release
	Auto-Frequency Therapy
	Color Therapy
	Electrodermal Screening

Mind Blowing Nerd fest top music hits

PCR... rings a bell? Polymerase Chain reaction is a technique to amplify a single or few copies of a piece of DNA across several orders of magnitude, generating millions or more copies of a particular DNA sequence.

Quote of the day~

No One can make you feel inferior without your consent.

I came across this quote by pure chance. Been webbing and saw this article.  Everyone who has ever been bullied before should read this. 

Bullying can take many forms, including verbal abuse; threatening, humiliating or offensive behaviour; or work interference.

The following common tactics form part of the workplace bully’s arsenal:

• Spreads malicious rumours about other people
• Ridicules or demeans people
• Excludes people
• Micromanages people or is an overbearing supervisor
• Makes unwelcome sexual advances
• Threatens  people
• Persistently criticises people
• Withholds information
• Removes people’s responsibilities
• Overloads people with work

Psychologists say the following could trigger bullying behaviour:

• a feeling of incompetence in handling his or her own job
• a feeling of having missed out on a promotion
• a feeling that a highly competent and popular colleague might be a threat to his or her position
• a personality clash with a colleague
• domestic personal problems, which make the individual feel insecure and inadequate

Parts of which are taken from  http://www.gibsreview.co.za

Random thought #1

Do not force love - it will come in good time, it will come

A Reminder of why we keep doing what we do..

This SOng is like a wake up call...

The CLIMB

I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes they might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,
cause

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Somebody's you're going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

Living in Content vs Living Cluelessly

A friend commented that i am always complaining about not meeting expectations fast enough. I do realise that i havent been  savoring my victories much or basking in my glory. In fact, i think i kinda dismiss it like it was a stepping stone which was just part of the expectation. Looking back at my past few entries i think i preetty much turned into a super big sour puss and just very un-contented with alot, nick-picking the impossible, having unreasonably demanding expectations in such short period of time. She says i am possibly being pressured by mum and her expectations for me. All thanks to all the men living with us, slowly but steadily giving us more reason to embrace divorce and singlehood. 

I think never knew stopping to smell the flowers and savoring victories was this difficult! 

REASON:I need a break and something to look forward to...

DINNER @ IKEA TAMPINES BISTRO?

WEEK OF 27 april to 2 may?

Powerful nice girl?

I'm always battling this dilemma. Struggling between being a nice person and being someone with authority. I dont like feeling bad after correcting my team members. Neither do i enjoy picking on them. We all just want to do our jobs. When things get too friendly it gets complicated. how do you draw the line where respect, age, authority and friendship lie? 

I feel like a mum.. at work and at home. I should slow down.. worry less. Though it still bugs me that the bosses are not as worried as i am abt where things are going. At this rate it is so difficult for me to convince my mum again. Who has been nagging AGAIN for me to move on to another company. she says my pay... sucks =( .

It doesnt help that all my "friends" decide to either have depression or are emotionally unavailable or just too tired to help. I look at my phone and gosh.. no one person pops up in my mind. Why do i feel like this ever so often? Mum says i need new friends.. i cant disagree.

Dear God, 

Show me the "light"?

From the forever worried random girl

  

That Thing You do...

Hmm.. Snappy!

That Show brings back memories. I cant recall exact details. But i vaguely remember enjoying this show with some guy on the phone. Was sharing our thoughts and how cool the whole song was. I cant remember who it was but it was just snappy.

I forgot how yummy Blues music can be.. 

Ukulele Blues

Lovin~ This Guy's Style... Face melting already..

I feel blessed... But...Unsure?

Last few days was kinda passing way too fast for my liking.

Its switching way too fast for me to calm down and cool off before even thinking how i can express my emotions. I just wished i had a little more time to settle into each feeling better.

Everytime i feel kinda lonely and wish i had someone to lead on. HE plans for some good thing to happen or someone to happen to pop into my life to keep me entertained for a while. Lately, HE gave me opportunity to try out something i'd always wanted. Now i'm just waiting for a reply to see if i can grab that opportunity. 

I think God's trying to guide me into a direction. Maybe HE's trying to tell me not to worry and that he has it all planned out for me? I am just too curious about the plan! See how HE teases me when he only shows me snippets of my life and how it could be! 

I was kinda excited a few days ago about this new opportunity but found no one really free to share this.. But its okay.. You all know now. Esther commented that weisze and my previous entry was a little harsh. I wrote that entry feeling rather disappointed with a good friends. I wanted to convey my feelings of disappointment unto them. Despite the numerous nudges and hints and blatant fact thrown at them, there was no progress. The sad truth is.. and zaid's always telling me this.. IS THAT.. If your friends dont make an effort to meet then forget them. Maybe we're all growing apart?

I told GOD i will try to be kind-er. 

I'd be kinder to the people who neglect me and understand that they are spending their time doing something worth while.

I'd be kinder to the people whom i cannot stand even breathing my air and tell myself that YES i will be courteous and smile and even create casual talk besides saying HI and BYE.

I'd be kinder and more tolerable about the small things(even though it irks me so) because every BIG thing in life is made up of small stuff.

BUT! its so hard!! =(

Steph's NEW lingo! "Dropping......cold fish!"

Lovely fish lips Taken from: this lovely webby

I've adopted the new phrase " dropping you like a cold fish"

ALL thanks to some very charming people 

I dedicate this fish lips to you and also to remind myself not to fall trap to COLD FISH.. 

PS: I still very much love eating fish

Reason OR Excuse

"Because i dont have the time to..."

Reason? OR Excuse?

I think the answer to this tug of war is PRIORITY and CHOICE

I guess its just not nice saying

 " I CHOOSE to not attend you event, BECAUSE its not a PRIORITY"

We make time for the important stuff- Things that matter

We make time for stuff we like to do

We choose to take others for granted

We prioritize and we make plans, based on our own preferences

Now all we need to be clear of...

IS

What the important stuff and important people and important events are.

Strangely fruitful Friday 13th

I hope Friday the 13th was kind to all you readers.

Knowing that by some force of nature that the influence of friday the 13th has on us. I decided to welcome it with open arms. I take Friday the 13th as a day where find comfort tagging whatever bad thing that happen that day and linking it up to reassure myself that such "swayness" (if any) only happens once every year. So thank goodness.

Today was strangely quite fruitful. Other than Dr yap sick today and other small things that happen. I think we made it through pretty safe today. D yap mentioned that i was very cheery this morning and that he could feel my energy. He commented that i gave him the energy today yeayness! Then i commented that someone once said the same thing ahha. He then apologised for indirectly reminding me of him. I then continued by saying that its okay now we're all good friends trying very hard to live our lives. =) 

I'm so proud of myself today haha.. I am amazed at how naturally confident that sentence came out. What a strange friday 13th.

Falling in love with creamy vanilla.. and MORE!

Oouh ooUh.. did i mention how sweet dr lim was.. he went out to dr lam's to do a surgery.. and came back with ice cream for us! Whee... whenhe came running to me and told us he had ice cream.. shirely and i ... very naturally did a "Yeaaaayyyyy!!" ahah.. See what ice cream does to us.. ahha.. I picked out Macadamia Nut without hesitation. 

With the creamy.. CREAMY vanilla.. and nice crunchy macadamia Nut... what a glorious combination.

And Yes.. i am still in my i love vanilla phase.. Screw Chocolate.. !

Embracing New Skin

Whoever said Beauty is Skin deep is right. It does start skin deep. But it doesnt help to keep it nice outside too.

Every girl has her own beauty regime. From facial washes to toners to serums and gels to a bag of whitening products and truck loads of lotions and scented lip balms. We have evolved from the soap and water days to body washes and prescription facial washes. If any guy thinks that its easy being a female, they should try. Currently these are the products i am lovin~

Fancl facial washing powder 

Because of its powder form it is so easy for traveling and like washing powder it has that squeeky clean effect on my skin

L'occitane 's Rose Hand Cream ( a gift from Dr Gan)

Love its light scent and not-so-sticky -after -feel

Neutrogena's Oil free Eye Makeup remover

I love how you can wear thick volumising mascara and not worry. Plus! it doesnt leave that oily eye feel.

L'oreal gentle Cleansing Milk

For removing makeup ( Smells good and gentle)

The Body Shop's Coco Butter Wash and Body lotion

I LOVE THIS! Its my all time pampering fav! For a non-chocolate lover.. even this sweet creamy chocolate tasting body wash is yummy.. 

*Please have BODY SHOP PROMO SOON! ( crosses fingers)

Mum Always complain i dont take care of myself. which is true. I cant help but blame it on genetics. Though i'm pretty blessed with okay skin. It can be improved. I decided a while ago after the bangkok trip to give my skin a break. The pollution in bangkok was terrible as usual. In order to get its radiance back i decided to stop makeup for a few weeks. Its been 2 weeks now and non of the doctors are complaining that i should put more makeup. ( gig

gles) I secretly put on more shimmery lip gloss to hide the bare face. 

After that makeup fasting period i will start to replenish and get that radiance back again.  In one word HYDRATION!!

On another note.

I went kayating with Wen Yun last sunday @ lower seletar. tried out Sun play's sunscreen. Was pleasantly surprised at the texture when applied. Like liquid paper(correction liquid) it has this ball bearing inside to stir up all the liquids. It comes out as a white liquid but blends into skin colour on application. Most importantly it is NOT STICKY or OILY. 

 In short, I love it. You should too.