Its been a while since i sat quietly and blogged. So you can imagine how much i have to type now. At the rate i am going i'd probably have a ton of spelling mistakes.(*Not that i care enough to stop and backspace the gushing thoughts i have.)
OKie.. Here goes.
So we I just woke up 13 hour recovery from a mad feverish - sore back headache topped off with a really nice painful throat attack. I;m so glad i did my early morning Dump! that kinda makes the temperature in you like moderate a little bit better.
Any-Whos.. Yesterday's one of the first talk-about-your-future sharing sessions was fab. Jian Xin went for it too! That was a pleasant surprise. He's so different when he's with the YA and when he's with the Secondary school gang. He talks so grown up and proper and stuff. I cant help but have a tilt my head to the side and go Awwww... moment when i think of this growth with Christ. He use to be always in such a bad mood in school grunting and grumbling. But now WOW. I wouldnt have thought i could have a decent conversation with him without him cursing or spitting fire at every word i say. (i'm exaggerting btw) I'm just glad i see good changes in my friends. =) ( BIG AWwww... Moment)
In true fact. The trio(sam and the other angel and yours truly) have always been having our monthly talk-about-your-future sharing session. I think that our monthly sessions are what keeps us so tight. Anyways, hearing from the elders that joined us during the session. Gave me alot of reassurance that hey! It doesnt seems like i am drifting too far back and am pretty much on top of things. I can relate alot better with Elder Gordon's experience. He gives me alot of confidence really. I wished i could have known him much earlier in my life so i would be more reassured when i was younger. But i do feel that maybe God wanted me to go through all that tough times. When i felt so lost and frustrated leading the aunties in my practice. I just so much wanted to pull my hair out really. It so cute really. Even back then i know someone was taking care of me. And to think that i prayed the most back then.
Hearing from Meishan made me realise how NORMAL i am. haha. I always struggled with too many choices and probably am still. I'm sure everyone does struggle for a while when weighing out pros and cons. I'll get really lost in my thoughts and pros and cons.. and let my gut feeling and heart get some action on it and get let my poor mind get totally confused with all that inner talk. Just hearing that Meishan also is battling this, makes me feel wow.. okay.. normal. Especially when the duo are so quick in making decisons like that. It is these kinda moments that make me feel like i'm a girl again. Not a man inside. ahha.. Thank Goodness.
Beve's sharing also triggered some deep pondering too. When she mentioned that she feels unready for the tasks of settling down and maybe God knows that so therefore singleton. I think i could relate to that too. Besides having random thoughts of having babies on and off. I may have been shunning away my maternal instincts to aside. Plus i think deep down i know i'll be a sucky gf. I cant bring myself to meet everyday and stick like glue. I love my space and freedom to meet friends too much. I really dont wanna conform to change for the sake of having someone else like me in that way. And i think most of the time i take charge too much that even my friends are saying i can be such a man about things. I wish i didnt need to take charge too much. But i cant trust anyone now to take charge for me. =) I dont know if i am fussy or too picky. I just know that lOVE loves to sneak up when you least expected. Its like it just enjoys going BOo! I'm here! In another note, I would applaud any guy for trying to even come to break down the walls and attempting to gain my trust in that way. I may seem like summer on the outside but trust me its cold cold winter inside. Like what Elder Quan Ching says to Peter- be a loveable person and you will draw people to your liking.
I like this.. Always Say A Prayer- ASAP
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