Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Wants to be more girly!



I realised i havent used my girly powers that much. Being prissy and screaming EEEEKK.. Dirt. Fussing over tiny bugs and becoming a freak about uber cute things or anything that is pink.

Years of fighting the reality of the weaker sex and femininity didnt do me too much. I shall.. embrace! EMBRACE the Pinkness and Cuteness and all that comes with.

My Mantra so far= Individualistic Beauty with a tough slab of femininity.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Urge to Blog




Feeling a BIg urge to blog. But am not in the emo mood to reminisce. I'm feeling awfullytickled. Just want to post nice nice Arty Farty random Pictures to Decorate my entry. I decided to type in a few funky words and google image it and this is what i found.

Word: Peace
Picture Taken from here

Word: Boredom
Picture taken from here



Word: Elated
Picture taken from Here



Saturday, October 16, 2010

Sorting out the obvious..



I got to get my life back in order again!!
My priorities are so messed up. =(

Procrastination is eating me inside... No more other people first.. ME ME ME! First.. Sigh.. I'm in my save the world traps again. You know how the air plane people always give instructions to parents(esp. Mums) to put on your mask first in an emergency before assisting your child t put his/hers on. THERE IS A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO DO THAT! Crazy as it sounds... This blog to posted to constantly remind me again and again whenever i fall into this state of absolute to PICK MYSELF UP AGAIN!! =)

If i want to save the world.. I got to save me first=)
Uurgh.. I dunt like it that i'm impossibly bluntly right.



Monday, September 13, 2010

I'm gonna be smelling like daisies..


Smelling Great.. with the Bathed in Vanilla and forever with the trail of daisies scent..

Love this.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Today's Daily Bread


I like today's Daily Bread. Titled:

The Slowness Of Wisdom

When the Pharisees came to Jesus with the woman caught in adultery and asked Him what should be done with her, He knelt for a moment and scribbled in the sand (John 8:6-11). We have no idea what He wrote. But when they continued asking Him, Jesus responded in one short sentence: “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first” (v.7). His few words accomplished much in confronting the Pharisees with their own sin, for they walked away one by one. Even today those words resound around the world.

Jesus had such a closeness to and dependence on His Father that He said of Himself, “Whatever I speak, just as the Father has told Me, so I speak” (12:50). Oh, that we had such a relationship with our Father that we knew how to respond with His wisdom!

Perhaps it begins with obeying James’ challenge to be “swift to hear, slow to speak” (1:19). This is not the slowness of ignorance, emptiness, timidity, guilt, or shame. But the slowness of wisdom born of dwelling quietly on the Lord and His thoughts.

We’re often told to stop and think before we speak. But I think we should take it much further and live a life where we’re always listening for God’s wisdom.



Lord, grant that we may hear You speak;
For truth within our hearts we seek;
For unto Christ we would be true
And know what He Himself would do. —D. De Haan

Listen to God before you speak for God.

AMEN AMEN AMEN...



Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Golden Opportunity




Been thinking about the opportunities that are presented
to me recently. I cant help but think that this is God's test for me. Another personally created little obstacle that he knows i'll have a hard time completing. To many it may be a obvious choice to make. But its dang tough kay!

Golden Opportunities are hard to come by.. saying no to neither is like .. this picture below..

Its not everyday u get opportunities knocking by. I also dunt want to be the silly girl that is in trouble and prays and when God sends so much help in different forms and don't take it cause she was waiting for some dramatic entrance from GOD himself.. then ends up getting a earful from him instead.

Signs like seeing a random guy's shirt spelling out Holiday in Carins Australia and random things like seeing the book in the arts section titled: Going to Live in Australia Guide.. A random taxi's advertisement about Australia.

Maybe i'm not seeing signs that want me to stay in SG big enough. Maybe i'm just blinding them out. Of course i've received endearing looks from the people closest to me. And of course i think the biggest pull is a New job offer in Sg. This new position gives me the scope to help other people communicate better which i enjoy btw and brings me closer to my goal of consulting and educating.

I bet there are people already getting their slippers out wanting to smack me. *hold that though* Dont think i am oblivious to the fact that i'm dang lucky. Seeeee... told u its a different kinda obstacle. Most times if things are sucky my optimism kicks in and i suck it up.. and live it. But when too good a thing comes by.. or rather when choices are tough. It becomes a stumbling block. Uurgh! I know i should be thinking hard about the pros and cons. Dont think i haven't sub consciously. Thinking is easy for me.. Trusting an having faith is the tough bit. I think thats wad i need to learn man..
So i'm concluding... I'm not going to THINK about it.. I'm Gonna Pray about it truthfully and sincerely and madly Pray. And do other things to keep my mind occupied. Which lead me to having this crazy idea which i think i should share with Rev Goh. I found what i can do to serve God. =) Dunno if she is in consensus with my idea but hey.. i'll ask anyways.. very most i'll get rejected.


Feel Good Cry


Feel Good Cry is dang good. With a shoulder to cry on would be better though =)
Just thinking about that makes me feel sane again. And also reminds me the importance and comfort in sharing my thoughts and burdens with God and his favourite people.


Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Korean influence


Koreans guys are uber cute! There .. i said it.. ahah.. I know of too many that will agree. Mum would be the first to jump up and agree. Mum's been snooping around again with her concerned look asking if i have anyone that i like. I think she is feeling abit torn again about me leaving. She 's maybe having withdrawal syndrome again-Its her style. Its a cycle. She gets all excited about my new career path and opportunity.. then when it sinks in that i need to leave for Aussie, she feels that pang of sadness but rubs it away in exchange for a Its-for-her-own-good-and-its-a-good-experience thoughts. Then.. the thought of me actually leaving.. sinks in and gets to her the hard way and thus withdrawal syndrome. There is a up side to this and here it is- After waddling in that stage she gets uber happy when i do .. do well and get settled and she feels .. YES! completed one childs journey.. look at how she's grown.. then she goes and pat herself on the back and goes.. well done self!

Stages of change.... AMazing isnt it. Mum's awesome that way. I am crossing my fingers and hoping i get the same neurotic mum like nurturing technics that will drive my children crazy when i grow up! So fun!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Scared Silly and Mad Crazy


Probably the biggest decision i have independently made yet.

All that talk about you only live once...
...and that opportunity rarely knocks twice-cherish it..
...and that Luck is what happens when opportunity meets preparation. ..

...ARE TRUE.

As i go nearer and nearer to the a new career path..
I feel like i am further and further away from home.


But then there is God's Plan for you and all.. So really the opportunity is just God given. Isnt it?

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Daughters..





Been Feeling the Ups and Downs with turbulence much too frequently recently. Beginning to wonder and experience the true meaning of living happily. Much to my dismay, its not the kind of lifestyle i am having now. Just like a flu. I'm sure i'll recover after coming to my senses.

This Book's title is good enough for me to buy it for SAM when he gets pretty daughters.


This song is playing in my mind now. Daughters have such a tough life really. Applause Please!

Daughters by John Mayer

I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls are continually changed
And I've done all I canTo stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too
Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now I'm left
Cleaning up the mess he made

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you doGirls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier onBut boys would be gone without the warmth from
A womans good, good heart

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the guide and the weight of her world
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too [x3]



Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Epiphany alert!



When i want something bad enough.
Take the first plunge into the water.
Then badly start swimming towards the goal. Just keep trying.
Eventually, I'll reach the other side. =)

Now the Plunge. Thats the biggest huddle. I shouldn't be such a WUSS. Right?!

If there were only a pill to be braver!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Afraid of Uncertainty... NOT!


Jesus is the coolest really!

You know i've been reading matthew in the bible recently and in alot of parables Jesus is scolding the deciples that they have little faith. Sometimes, i think we really should be scolded for our lack of faith. I often wish i was braver to overcome all the little problems in my life.

My constant self reminder:

When i get thoroughly drained.
-To pray.. and oddly enough get peace within me and get more energy.
When frustration sets in and the situation is too sticky for me to handle.
-To pray for Calmness and Wisdom to solve
When i feel stuck and lost
-To pray for a push in the right direction
When all odds are against me and i feel stuck in a pressure cooker
-To pray to not use harsh words and have patience that things will unravel to be better.

Just as i feel kinda lost, the daily bread today was talking about HOPE. (See! Its not luck or coincidence... Its planned HE knows you and knows what you need when you need it. =))

Many claim to have hope, but only those whose hope is Christ can claim it with certainty. Hope comes not from strength, intelligence, or favorable circumstances, but from the Lord. As Maker of heaven and earth, He alone has the right to promise hope and the power to keep the promise.- taken from Daily Bread RBC

"The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures." -snippets from the song Amazing Grace.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

POsitivity Pass it on!



Taken from http://dailykindness.net

————————————————————————-

Use Empowering Words When You Talk to Yourself, (whether you are speaking out loud or silently)

How do you talk to yourself?

Do you use the words “can’t”, “won’t”, “don’t need to”, “why try”? Many people do.

Do you find that what you say to yourself turns out to be true? Why is this?

You see your brain is like a computer that you feed each day. It doesn’t always know what’s real or not unless you tell it.

Example: If someone you love has hurt you, you may tell yourself that all people who love you will probably hurt you too. You may not even be aware that you are doing this.

Your brain just files this information for reference, it’s data, little zeroes and ones and no column that asks “true or not true?” Now your brain thinks, based on what you told it, that everyone you’ll ever love will hurt you. At the very least it is using this data in its assessment of future situations.

Now, what if we instead told our brain:

“Okay this person ripped my heart out – but that’s only one person. I’m lovable and have many loving people in my life who are not out to hurt me. I know that the right people are coming into my life all the time. If someone hurts me, I will forgive them and bless them on their way.”

Words can be empowering.

I can

I love to

I want to

I will

I must

I am

We can attain a greater quality of life if we feed ourselves empowering words and practice saying them until they become a habit.

I know first hand that it takes time. And I also know that it’s worth it.

Try it for a week. Catch yourself saying, “I can’t”, when you don’t really mean it and instead try, “I can”, and see how you think and feel about yourself.

Remember, the words you use to empower yourself will have a lasting effect, only if you practice

them and they become a habit (an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary).

They say it takes at least 28 days to develop a habit. After a week, you will see that it becomes easier. It’s a mindset and you can control your thoughts. Be proactive and not reactive – give yourself some good words.

Dream big and empower yourself! Believe you can and you will.

Most of all, CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY!


Stream Of Praise (SOP)




I'm so glad to be saved!
Ever so thankful!
I didnt go to church last sunday. And i am feeling abit unsettled. Its like something's missing. I miss worshipping with the youths. Going on Sunday reminds me of like a family meeting. Its such a warm fuzzy feeling.

After reaching home. I hit the lappie for Holy songs. Did my own worshipping ahha.. and Quiet time. I'm so thankful to go for the SOP concert. Oddly enough.. I think.. i'm beginning to rely even more and more on HIM. Cause i'm crying more and more while worshiping ahaha.. I normally hold tears back. I think its also cause i feel that i am in Blame it on pride and insecurities, I'm so glad i can rely on HIM. I used to rely on certain people for security and re assurance, sometimes its just not enough. I get it even more now- why we need to get a spouse with the same religion. Keeping the faith together, Trusting God with path, Relying on him and having similar thoughts about raising a family.

After meeting the gang at jurong i was uber tired. But somehow i decided to go to SOP on sat instead when wk smsed. Initially was intended to go on sunday after church sessions. So glad i went on Sat. I think God planned it oddly enough. After what happened that day i cant help but let out a chuckle and go.. "God u already know this is going to happen right!"

Anyways... i went.. saved hamsters from suffocating in wk's car.. Haha.. I was thinking if God didnt place me there. Then wk's car wont have started. If i wasnt there to call for the other angel's daddy for help. If i wasnt there then i wouldnt have went into the "mama shop" and met this indian family who volunteered to drive us to get brake petrol and also by the way are christians form the same church we just left.

So fortunate to be there on saturday.. to experience his love for us when we are in difficult situations. Its so amazing really yeah? Very Miao4! I like when he uses me for these things makes me feel really important and i appreciate him using me especially when i am such a young and Ahem.. Blur christian.

I feel like everything is fast forwarding when this year after accepting christ. For some reason i am able to experience so much of his love and its becoming more and more transparent to me. Its no longer luck and coincidence. Its transformed into planned and reliance. And because he is so extra nice to me.. i also want to be extra nice to him. Haha.. God's cute that way.

But really sometimes i wish he could just tell us his plan. But hey! knowing it through an experience and through lessons is'nt that bad. Afterall, its a eventually thing since its all planned anyways yeah?! Read in the bible that God gives us all many gifts. Even though sometimes we are envious of others gift. I'm confident that he has given me all i need. I'm thoroughly thankful for the always cheerful and positive mindset he has injected in me and the madly nurturing nature he has carefully placed in me.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The glass is half full mentality


Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

- Groucho Marx


Saturday, July 3, 2010

My Stubborn streak.. Lost!



I think my opportunity has slipped away and maybe god planned for a diversion after silly me not accepting his hints.. after 3 times!

On a happier note. Stubborn as God know i am. He forced me into relying on him once again on friday. Haha.. Prayer does work! I'm glad i leaned on God's shoulder that day. =)

Today's Daily Bread:

Have setbacks slowed you down to a snail’s pace? Be encouraged. God doesn’t ask for a fast finish. He expects persevering progress.

When trials intrude to slow down your life,
It would be easy for you to give in;
But by perseverance you’ll overcome strife,
So just keep on plodding—with Christ you can win. —Branon

Great achievement requires great perseverance.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Anthropology Vs Psychology

Anthropology
is the study of humanity.

Psychology is a science, an academic, and applied discipline that involves the scientific study of human or animal mental functions and behaviors.

On the latest Channel five episode of Bones. Dr Brennen disagreed with Anthropology logic of what the Alpha Male's(Aka Top Dog) theory. She took a emotional and less evidence based view. Long story short. Agent Booth is slowly influencing Dr Brennen to feel more. At the bus stop after a "sibling linked to dad-was-an-alcoholic problem" Dr Brennen came out innocently asking if Agent Booth needed some time and space. Agent Booth had those longing eyes when he told her JUST time. So she sat down beside him. Agent booth being the family oriented tight lipped-do-anything-for-your-family-and-suffer-in-silence-type said.." My Dad.. he was an alcoholic."

Toooucching yeah!

Its amazing moments like this that make me feel... UUrgh! I want this! I want this amazing bond! I cant wait to be unravelled by a Dr Brennen.

Booth and Bones Video. Loves!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Unbelievable!


I have not had so many deep sighs in 3 days. I wish i had more patience but its pulling my hair out literally. Wish i had a bigger heart and a smaller ego. I just had a epiphany again. Its easier to forgive a friend then forgive a family member. Maybe cause the hurt isn't so deep.

Today's QT:

So often we think only of money when the Bible calls us to give willingly and bountifully, “for God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Cor. 9:7). Giving others a chance and offering hospitality to those who hurt is generosity that makes winners of everyone involved.


The gifts that we may give,
The deeds that we may do,
Most truly honor Christ
When self is given too. —D. De Haan

The manner of giving shows the character of the giver more than the gift itself.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

God on the fast lane.


I think... He just spoke to me.

I itchy backside went to sneak peak on the daily bread tml cos i will normally read it in the morning then make sure i remember what God wants to tell me throughout the day and remind my self again before i sleep. So Guess what! It was exactly what i needed!
Reassurance from God.

Much of life is about “getting through” the trials and troubles that are inevitable in our sinful world. One of these trials is persecution. The disciples certainly found this to be true. They knew the good things that Jesus has ready for those who follow Him, but they met harsh resistance when they tried to tell others (Acts 14:5).

Those of us who have chosen God’s way, and who know from experience that it’s “a more excellent way” (1 Cor. 12:31), will persevere even when we have to go through danger and difficulty. By doing so, we show others a beautiful picture of God’s peace, mercy, and forgiveness. The joy that awaits will make our temporary discomfort worthwhile.

Its like he knows i need this! I love God.. He's so nice!

Straying away from GOD?


I feel as if i have not been a good testament. Feeling kinda ashamed really. I havent done a decently long quiet time in awhile. I have on and off prayed. But i dont feel that i've told God everything i wanna tell him. I got LAZY! Urgh! And i dont like it! Sometimes i wonder if i am living a good testament as a christian to show mummy and family. Its so exhausting really to not sin. Even by trying suuupppper hard sometimes you will still sin. As i understand more and built up faith i am realising its getting tougher. Like Mu shi says the devil doesnt like that i'm growing so he comes to distract me. My most popular prayer request now, in fact only prayer request now is that i ask God to help keep me focus unto you and not stray. I wish i were more determined really.

Mei Mei is so encouraging. I love her.. She just flew from Nice to VERY NICE status already ahah.. I realise we are quite similar. To think i was so mature at her age ahha.. She gave me this verse 1 Corinthians 10:13 -No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

RBC's Daily bread:

Help me to walk so close to Thee
That those who know me best can see
I live as godly as I pray,
And Christ is real from day to day. —Ryberg


Pray Pray pray.. Must pray.. Sigh.. OKay PRAY!

Monday, June 21, 2010

1 week before the real world starts


Living in sabbatical and sabbath has always been one of the best goals i always wanted. Now that i have 1 week left.

I realise during the first week that :
1) Having the spare cash helps.
2) Not thinking just doing is more fun.
3) Volunteering is more tiring than working (experiencing the fish outta water)

2nd week
1) I cant believe the first week is gone!
2) Money is half gone! (cause savings and bills still need to be pumped in)
3) Spend less Do more is so tough! And lazing around experiencing the not working but i am at home resting is tougher...(i need to do something!)
4) church camp was eventful, tough to take effect, a cry fest, Change in paradigm

3rd week
1) OMG! Work 's next week! DIE! I shouldve created another checklist (fish outta water experience coming back again)
2) I need to fill up my appointments and really make use of the rest of the time. (text me to book me)
3) I cant wait for payday on the 25th! I need to feel rich again. ( Sadly its very insecure to be that dry on resources..)
4) Starting to feel like i am running outta time and need to complete my checklist!
5) Feeling that credit cards are evil

The Pen-ing down of random thoughts leads to... this list below
1) Get roller blades and madly learn them
2) Go running tml morning! no blaming the weather and stop praying that it will rain
3) Financial planning
4) Plan for next year's trip
5) Have tons of epiphanies
6) Go to XYZ to help out



Facebook As a double edge sword


Perception and Perspective plays a part in this theory of facebook being a double edge sword. Just seconds ago i had a epiphany again. Love those.

If your feeling in the pits which i was minutes earlier. Looking at facebook posts from your friend in Korea having fun during world cup and another friend Graduating or another busy complaining about the choices of whether Toyko or HK for her family trip. Well.. Uuh.. is it me or do does everyone feel a tinge.. or maybe a gulp of sour grapes! I'm dead envious and green eye jealous of their so happening lifestyle. I know this is just a moment. Cause once i tune back to my positive self again i'll be fine... But i'm not fine now! So thus this venting post.

Double edge sword cause it depends on how u see it. It can be OOuh man.. my life stinks and is like plain plain shit-o boring. Or Wow.. i have cool friends and dang! facebook is uber cool i can comment on my friends comments!

So there. My epiphany.

I love Jane!



I love Jane! She's so sweet really. I love taking to her and she is SOO Sweet! I love how she has that older sister I'll look after you Gung-ho kinda loyalty with jussst a touch of innocent and pure sweetness. You know the kinda honey that is super raw? The kind that comes with the honeycone it has that i'm sweet but not artifically sweetened kinda taste? Yea... That JUST JANE!

She hates that i call her Jane-Y and thus JUST JANE is just her! And i love that she's just jane. Not afraid to say that hey! i don't like when you do that, but afraid that she'll hurt your feelings so she'll tell you later cos its just her. I like that she's so awesomely TRUE BLUE and PURE that way. Just like how young small little people-Kids tell you and talk to you. They tell you the truth and they give you innocently in pure good intentions. On a side note: Never ask your kid if you look fat in anything.
I like her interesting style too. She has the I am always on holiday specifically in BALI look.. ALL THE TIME. Do notice the Prints and non -CHAT4 CHAT4 full cotton clothes and the straw bags she wants to get to complete her look but i am totally disapproving of. We have come up with a full proof guideline for her style too. If you ever want to get anything please get something that is simple.. BUT complicated... Difficult.. Yet Easy.. Modern But traditional... Conflicting eh? Just think Holiday in Bali.. block out everything else.

I just mentioned to her on our super long bus journey back home yesterday that she's like a diamond in the rough really. It really takes a special person to discover her and then after polishing.. she'll be so shiny lah i tell you!


Friday, June 11, 2010

Friday Blues



Its the first day off after 3 days of mad work... And here i am sick. Snug undercovers medicated with panadol and that cute little yellow pill that puts an immediate plug on that leaky nose with of course a tinge of yummy cough syrup. *On a side note. I love.. those tangy orange ice popsicles when your sick. *

My morning was spent throughly mopping thru msn and facebook. Then eventfully ending with a random pick of Sex and the city episodes online. Its like i needed abit of chick flick before i went for my girls evening out later.

The other angel called for a MENS talk. Havent had one of those officially for a long time. (closes eyes on the small random men talks) I've got some to dish out and i'm dying to hear the rest dish their thoughts on mine. MENS talk is much like when boys talk about football. Everyone has their own favourite team and Ahem.. team player.. =)

Off to meet the girls.. Will update if any spurs of moments of epiphanies occur.

Always dreaming and never wanting to wake up.. thats the feeling i'd love to have recently..


Sunday, June 6, 2010

Thought-find moment.




Its been a while since i sat quietly and blogged. So you can imagine how much i have to type now. At the rate i am going i'd probably have a ton of spelling mistakes.(*Not that i care enough to stop and backspace the gushing thoughts i have.)

OKie.. Here goes.

So we I just woke up 13 hour recovery from a mad feverish - sore back headache topped off with a really nice painful throat attack. I;m so glad i did my early morning Dump! that kinda makes the temperature in you like moderate a little bit better.

Any-Whos.. Yesterday's one of the first talk-about-your-future sharing sessions was fab. Jian Xin went for it too! That was a pleasant surprise. He's so different when he's with the YA and when he's with the Secondary school gang. He talks so grown up and proper and stuff. I cant help but have a tilt my head to the side and go Awwww... moment when i think of this growth with Christ. He use to be always in such a bad mood in school grunting and grumbling. But now WOW. I wouldnt have thought i could have a decent conversation with him without him cursing or spitting fire at every word i say. (i'm exaggerting btw) I'm just glad i see good changes in my friends. =) ( BIG AWwww... Moment)
In true fact. The trio(sam and the other angel and yours truly) have always been having our monthly talk-about-your-future sharing session. I think that our monthly sessions are what keeps us so tight. Anyways, hearing from the elders that joined us during the session. Gave me alot of reassurance that hey! It doesnt seems like i am drifting too far back and am pretty much on top of things. I can relate alot better with Elder Gordon's experience. He gives me alot of confidence really. I wished i could have known him much earlier in my life so i would be more reassured when i was younger. But i do feel that maybe God wanted me to go through all that tough times. When i felt so lost and frustrated leading the aunties in my practice. I just so much wanted to pull my hair out really. It so cute really. Even back then i know someone was taking care of me. And to think that i prayed the most back then.

Hearing from Meishan made me realise how NORMAL i am. haha. I always struggled with too many choices and probably am still. I'm sure everyone does struggle for a while when weighing out pros and cons. I'll get really lost in my thoughts and pros and cons.. and let my gut feeling and heart get some action on it and get let my poor mind get totally confused with all that inner talk. Just hearing that Meishan also is battling this, makes me feel wow.. okay.. normal. Especially when the duo are so quick in making decisons like that. It is these kinda moments that make me feel like i'm a girl again. Not a man inside. ahha.. Thank Goodness.
Beve's sharing also triggered some deep pondering too. When she mentioned that she feels unready for the tasks of settling down and maybe God knows that so therefore singleton. I think i could relate to that too. Besides having random thoughts of having babies on and off. I may have been shunning away my maternal instincts to aside. Plus i think deep down i know i'll be a sucky gf. I cant bring myself to meet everyday and stick like glue. I love my space and freedom to meet friends too much. I really dont wanna conform to change for the sake of having someone else like me in that way. And i think most of the time i take charge too much that even my friends are saying i can be such a man about things. I wish i didnt need to take charge too much. But i cant trust anyone now to take charge for me. =) I dont know if i am fussy or too picky. I just know that lOVE loves to sneak up when you least expected. Its like it just enjoys going BOo! I'm here! In another note, I would applaud any guy for trying to even come to break down the walls and attempting to gain my trust in that way. I may seem like summer on the outside but trust me its cold cold winter inside. Like what Elder Quan Ching says to Peter- be a loveable person and you will draw people to your liking.

I like this.. Always Say A Prayer- ASAP

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Its Like God knows stuff... haha



GOD is so GR8!

(Its like he knows stuff.. haha)

Was waiting for sherms to wake up so i was aimlessly clicking online. Went to see what God has to say to me today via Daily Bread(check out what he said to me that day!)


Guess What!

The Daily Bread was saying about Work!

We Pay too much attention on it. Without it we feel useless,unproductive,unimportant. GOD doesnt want us that. He wants us to focus unto him. Therefore he created the 7th day of work to become a rest day for us.

This is called the SABBATH.

I remember Mu Shi's last message to me was for me to enjoy my Sabbath! Then as usual i googled and found the meaning. Feel So GOoD! I strongly feel for this day's daily bread! Its as if God's telling me what i always am struggling with is gonna be solved once i embark on this sabbath. I am looking forward for Insecurities to dissolve, a clearer mind, a more loving and forgiving heart and of course! a Happier more spiritual Me!

He gives me work that I may seek His rest,
He gives me strength to meet the hardest test;
And as I walk in providential grace,
I find that joy goes with me, at God’s pace. —Gustafson

If we do not come apart and rest awhile, we may just plain come apart. —Havner

Sunday, May 23, 2010

I need to love myself more...



I'll be my own best friend. =)
If my body can speak.
Every cell in me would scream at me and ask me to be kinder to myself.
To be less critical and forgive myself.
To be less angry at myself.
And to stop saving the world.